Royalblood Jelly, Peasantblood Peanutbutter
by Mudflap
Summary: Tavros is a young peasantblood in a medieval Alternia ruled by the terrifying monarchy of Indigo-bloods, more specifically The Grand Highblood and the heir to his title. Tavros befriends the last troll on Alternia he'd ever dreamed to. PBJ/GamTav
1. Chapter 1

'How is this even a thing that is happening' is the only thing comprehensible going through your mind at this moment in time. You try to distract yourself from your vascular pump that seems to be pumping into overdrive by staring at the mud that has smeared and dried on your pant-legs, trying to chip some off with your fingernails, as if that's the most important thing that you should be concerned with at the moment. Your concentration is broken as the taller yellow-blood in front of you shoves you in the shoulder and sneers at your momentarily unbalanced form, curse these huge horns.

"Well what are you waiting for, _Pupa?_ Do it."

The other two sneering lowbloods behind you move in closer, sealing off any possibility of you getting out of this.

"Come on, you said you wanted to be just like Pupa Pan, right? Well he could do something like this without a single hesitation, he's simply the bravest troll there is", the yellow-blood with spiked horns smirked and shoved the large vase full of candy-red dye into your arms, nearly making you drop it, "Do it and you'll be _just as brave as pupa_".

You note the overbearing sarcasm when he said the last part. You take a deep breath and pull the pot close to your chest, _'It's okay'_, you think to yourself_'There's no one out here but us, if no highbloods catch me doing it, then they'll never know who did it and I'll still be safe'_. You make your way over to the light-indigo wall and exhale quietly, _'Why didn't I keep my big mouth shut, why did I have to say all that stuff back there about Pupa being my idol?'_. You grimace and dip your hand into the pot and take out a handful of the red cloth dye and mash it up against the wall in a sickening 'squelch' and get to work.

Your name is Tavros Nitram, and you are currently defacing the outer palace walls of The Grand Highblood, the most terrifying troll to ever walk the planet and ruler of all the lowbloods on Alternia, and yet you are still in the process of committing a crime which will get you culled on sight if you are caught, all because you idolize the coolest troll there is. Man, has this been a shitty day for you.

"I can't believe he's actually doing it!" laughs the gigantic maroon-blood with bent horns, putting his hand on the shoulder of the other brown-blood, a wide-hipped female with outwardly curved horns that had also surrounded you from behind moments ago. Not to discredit yourself, you are a pretty large troll…_height wise_ not width wise, you're not shrimpy by brown-blood standards at all but you know that messing with these guys could get you beaten nearly to death and taking that risk would be stupid.

"Make sure the 'fucked' is written huge and readable or I'll punch you in the bonebulge."

What an elegant female _indeed_, you inwardly sneer. It's not like you're not all for a self-expressing spunky girl, by no means. It's just _her_ personality is… less attractive.

As you kneel down to take another handful of dye you sense a great deal of movement from the bullies behind you. The fear of being hurt helps you resist the impulse to turn around.

"Now just what the mother fuck is going down over in this corner of town, bros?"

That was a new voice. It seemed a lot deeper, mellow even, it certainly belonged to none of the three currently behind you, all of which happened by chance to have very whiney and nasally vocals.

"Who the f-**OH SHIT **_**OH FUCK**_!" the voice of the yellow-blood sounded off.

Now was the appropriate time to turn around you thought, only you just happened to catch the sight of the three antagonists running away into the dark forest surrounding the gigantic purple castle. You drop the handful of candy coloured dye on the earthy ground beside you as your eyes cast over in the direction of the newcomer's voice, as he seemed to be walking closer to you.

The second you are able to focus on the approaching troll your blood runs ice cold and your vascular pump seems to stop altogether.

The figure standing before you is a tall troll with long wavy black hair and goat-like horns, he is wearing the royal symbol strangely enough of the Grand Highblood himself, and his robes are mixes of various indigos and purples, much too fancy to even be a higher blue blood, and his face is painted up as a subjugglator.

Holy fucking shit it's the prince. The heir to the title of 'The Grand Highblood'.

And he's looking right at you, the skinny lowblood dressed with rags in comparison, the peasant blood that has defaced his palace and soiled his name in red dye, 'GET FUCKED, HIGHBLOOD BIGOTS' still drying on the stone beside you, clear as the night sky.

Time seems to freeze around the both of you for a few moments.

Finally an inaudible scream escapes your lips and you drop to your knees and bow at his feet, "Y-y-your majesty I-I…", that's the only thing you seem to be capable of spitting out through your trembling frame. _'Oh my god you are going to die now'_ your think-pan screams, _'you are going to fucking die'_.

The prince keeps silent as the wind blows lightly through the trees, stirring a few animals from the tops of the branches.

The horrifying silence continues until the highblood chuckles, "Why you gotta be all on the ground like that mother fucker? Somethin' not right with your legs or what?"


	2. Chapter 2

Your shaking stops for a split second and you inhale sharply. _'He doesn't… want me to bow?',_ your think-pan is just barely able to come to the conclusion.

There's another heartbeat of what to you is a deadly silence, and then you feel a pair of hands slink under your arms. they grasp your shivering frame and before you have a moment to register what is happening you are being lifted high off the ground.

"Don't you worry mother fucker, I can teach you how to walk if you forgot how!"

Your eyes cast downwards in a state of utter confusion. The prince, the heir to the throne of a bloodline famous for brutality and murder, has picked you up off the ground instead of making you pay for your crimes against him. _'Is this real life?'_

"Hey don't be flippin' me an upside down smile bro, there ain't no reason to be upset, everyone forgets things sometimes, walkin' is just one of them little things a mother fucker just forgets! I've done it before too y'know."

What is he even going on about, shouldn't you be a corpse by now? Come on say something you idiot.

"M-m-mister prince… er, your majesty…. sir!"

His eyes glimmer slightly when he hears your voice, and his painted face cracks a cheerful grin.

"Aw sweet, bro! For a second there I thought you also forgot how to talk too." he chuckles.

You relax slightly, he doesn't seem to be upset, could you be experiencing something of a miracle? Or is this a trap, and the second he puts you down he'll bash your face in. Your aching pan is having quite the storm at the moment.

"Yes, yes your highness, I can talk. that is a thing I am able to do… also walk, walking is a thing I can do too, um, I just thought that you would be er…"

The tall-goat horned prince puts you down gently onto your feet and he tilts his head to the side slightly with an inquisitive grin.

"Thinkin' I'd be what, my walkin', talkin', big horned mother fucker?"

You pause for a moment, you are entirely sure now this is a rhetorical question, and he's going to cull you in a matter of seconds. However you can't seem to stop your lips from spitting out words.

"... th-that I have defaced the palace walls, highblood, you would be angry with me." you stutter out.

He turns his head to the wall beside you and his mouth hangs open. You watch as his eyes study the writing in the red dye glimmering off the indigo shaded bricks, you however seemed to have stopped breathing. _'This is it. This is the end. What to you have to say about yourself you big horned dumbass?' _

You slink a couple steps back and cringe, covering your face with your hands, hoping to not see it coming.

"Bro where on Alternia did you get this wicked colour?"

You remain frozen again for a couple seconds, then inch your fingers away from your face to reveal the messy-haired prince staring at you with a wide smile and orange eyes glimmering with joy, his whole body practically bouncing with excitement.

"You mean... _the cloth dye_?" you carefully inquire.

"Yeah! Where did you get such a miraculous colour? I've never seen it before!" he was giggling like a wiggler that had tasted a sweet paste wrap for the first time.

Well you certainly didn't see _that_ coming.

You shuffle in place awkwardly for a few seconds, "Well I got it town of course, a friend of... er... an _acquaintance_ of mine makes these really pretty clothes and she uses-", you pause for a few seconds thinking over his words again, "... wait... what do you mean you've never seen this colour before? You've never seen red before... _ever_?"

The highblood shook his head, "Nah man all I ever really see around the ol' castle is purples n' blues... some times I see some greens, but not on an erry day kind of thing. At least in the parts of the palace I'm allowed in. I guess we kind of mother fuckin' over-use the whole purple n' blue thing." he laughed.

The prince walks closer to you as you let your arms fall to your side. You are now pretty curious how probably the most privileged troll on the planet has never seen half the colours of the rainbow, considering the nature of the subjugglators. You walk over to the side of the wall, not dripping with dye, and sit down with your bony legs crossed comfortably and invite the giddy prince with a 'pa'p of the earthy beside you to join. He flashes an excited smile and flops down beside you.

"I'm really curious now, mister highblood, how can yo-"

"Gamzee."

"... what?"

The messy-haired troll stretches his legs out in front of him and lets his gaze fall upon a cluster of stars above the trees.

"I don't really like it when a bro calls me 'mister highblood', or 'your majesty', or any of those mother fucking pompous nook sniffin' titles. I have a name y'know, everyone's got a name." He turns his head and fixes his half-lidded gaze back onto you, "What _is_ your mother fuckin name, big-horned bro?"

Trying not to look too taken aback at how this troll of royal blood had reacted, you accidentally stumble over your name, "_tvrUS nttrim_"

"Wha..?"

"Oops... I mean... my name is Tavros Nitram." you feel your face grow hot, wow that was really bad.

"Haha, it's okay bro, sometimes I just get so chill I can't even say words like 'pie'... or '_circular_'," he gestures a round figure with his index fingers and you both have a bit of a gigglefest. "Gamzee Makara, that's my name, Tavros Nitram."

You smile at him, "You don't have to say my full name you know, most people just call me 'Tavros' or 'Tav'."

The purple blood puts his fingers decked with bejeweled rings up to the sides of his think pan and rubbed them with his eyes crossing in determination for a few seconds, "Hmmm... OH! How about 'Tavbro'?", the highblood exclaimed "y'know, cause you're Tav, but you're also my _bro_!"

You help but let a laugh escape your lips at his excitement, "Sure thing, 'bro', I'd actually really like that!"

Gamzee cracks a wide grin and slinks down the wall until he's pretty well lying on the ground. He 'paps' the ground beside him, inviting you to follow suit. You roll your eyes with a smile and comply, slinking down the wall and joining your new 'bro' lying under the stars.

"So Gamzee, what did you mean back there when you said '_in the parts of the palace I'm allowed in_', you're like the most powerful guy on land, what's stopping you from going where you please?"

Gamzee sighed and pulled his hands under his head and closed his eyes, "Well Tavbro, I'm stuck with a lotta rules n' regulations and shit I gotta follow, bein' the mother fuckin 'prince' and all I have to be sorta 'dissaplin' or whatever that means. I'm not really allowed anywhere that's _not _my room, the courtyard, the dinning hall, or the bathroom. I'm not even allowed outside the fuckin' palace!" he frowned, slightly comically because of his face paint.

"Aw dude, that's like being grounded for life! I was grounded once when my lusus caught me playing with some of the other trolls from my neighborhood past my curfew once, I can't imagine living like that forever though!" you exclaim with a bit of sympathy.

Gamzee pauses for a couple seconds making the entire forest seem to grow eerily silent.

"Hey Tav?" he finally speaks up.

"Yeah?"

"What's it like?"

You turn your head, as far as you can with your horns, towards him, "What's what like?" you inquire.

"Having a lusus."

Your eyes grow wide, "You mean you... oh my gosh I didn't know you didn't have a-"

"No no bro, mine didn't _die_, I just never had one! Y'see after the trials we went through as wigglers, the ol' Grand Highblood was lookin' for an heir to his title, I guess he was worried about some dumbass takin' the throne from him, so once I got my mother fucking sign," he gestured to the symbol on his chest, "he up an' took me instead of lettin' me get a lusus, I guess so he could raise me to be a huge badass ruler like him after his time was up."

He sighs before continuing, his voice now carries a sadder tone than his usual mirthful one.

"But he never really... _raised_ me, I've always kinda been alone, he's always doin' his 'kinging' stuff in his room or somewhere else and I'm kinda always told to stay up in my room and junk and it j-... it just gets really mother fuckin' lonely around here." he sighed, "You're the only other bro that I ever met. Well besides I guess the palace servants, but they're all older or just really... creepy... not down to be friendly, y' get me?"

You frown and lift your hand, hesitating at first, but then you pat his shoulder sympathetically, "I feel you, 'bro'. I don't really have that many friends either, the ones I do have left town a long time ago, and only write to me a few time a year, the other trolls in my town my age kind of... well... do to me what those other three were doing."

"Oh yeah, those other three dudes! What was their mother fuckin' thing anyhow?"

You shift awkwardly. "Let's just say, it's hard to have idols, it's hard and no one understands." you sigh. "By the way, if you're not allowed out of the palace, what are you doing out here, talking about things and stuff with me?"

He shrugs, "I got bored, jumped the palace walls. I guess maybe I wanted to see what the mother fuck was on the other side for once."

Your eyes narrow in confusion, "... how did you 'jump' the wall, It's gotta be about 25 feet high!"

"I never said it was graceful." he mumbled.

You both lie under the sparkling night sky in silence for a couple minutes, taking in each other's words. Two trolls from completely different worlds, lying under the Alternian sky being watched by a green and a pink moon, 'jamming' about their feelings in a sense. After about five minutes Gamzee shifts his legs draped in royal polkadot pants and sits up.

"What's it like where you live bro?"

You shift from your lying position and sit up, with slight difficulty due to horn size. Eventually you come to a comfortable sitting position and begin to 'jam' once again with your new bro.

"I live on a farm, I guess from here... it's pretty far to the west, I live there with my lusus, he's a fairybull named Tinkerbull. I guess it's pretty easy for me to live there cause I can talk to animals." Gamzee's eyes widen in admiration, you smile proudly, "Yep. That's a thing I can do too."

"That is so cool."

"Thanks Gamzee, not many other trolls seem to think so."

Gamzee smiles and giggles out a few 'Honks', "Bro, you're the coolest dude I know."

Suddenly the highblood's gaze is distracted from you trying to figure out how to respond to such a kind statement and focuses on something behind him. His eyes narrow.

"Shit FUCK, it's a couple patrol guards!" He stands up and grabs you by the wrist, running like a charging hoof-beast around the side of the wall so they won't see the two of you. "These dudes are assholes, they'll out me to the Grand Highass and mother fuckin' cull you." he panted, "Tavbro, you gotta run home now, I'm sorry."

Your eyes widen with the highblood's sudden seriousness and you nod. You turn to run off into the forest before he grabs your hand.

"Wait a mother fuckin' sec! Tavbro... do you think I could see you again?" His eyes cloud a bit and he smiles solemnly, "I've never had a friend like you before."

He wants to see you again. He, the royalblood, the prince... no... Gamzee Makara, your new friend, wants to see you again. You would have teared up if you weren't about to be culled.

"Yeah bro, I'll come by tomorow okay?"

His grin widens and he lets go of your wrist. "Yeah bro, I'll be seein you pretty motha fuckin' soon."

You take off into the woods, but can't help but look back for a few moments to watch him climb up a tree very close to the wall, jump over, fall over the other side, and land with a loud 'honk'. After a about running half a mile through the forest you finally slow your pace and continue walking west, homeward bound.

_'Holy shit I'm best friends with the prince of Alternia.'_


End file.
